Far be it from me to disagree with Croft's premise. The modern concept of dating is foreign to the Bible, but I disagree with his conclusions. For one thing, the Bible encourages us "to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men" (2 Corinthians 8:21, emphasis added). We should therefore recognize that many of the habits of the classic Church were instituted to keep them above the reproach of the Roman populace, so that by being like them in practice, they might win some to Christ. This doesn't mean that the Church didn't think classic courtship rituals were wrong--if they did, they wouldn't practice them--but that it was chiefly a cultural concern and not an ecclesiastical one. Maybe if the Church were founded today, in order to remain above the reproach of the populace, they would practice our dating methods without the sex. Who knows?
I, for one, don't like the Catholic categorization of sin--venial, mortal, et cetera--but it does carry some weight to it. Namely, it aids adherents in recognizing specifically what the sin concerns. Does it concern a sin against ourselves and our bodies, which are temples of God? Does it concern a spiritual practice and direct refutation of God's commandments that do not concern physical acts? This taxonomy may indicate what dating is concerned with. It is not concerned with God's admonition of man as a Spiritual creature, but about how man interacts with the fairer sex (and ladies with the more gruesome one, who, in a perfect world, they wouldn't have anything to do with because we're a bunch of idiots) and how that reflects on Christian morals. Dating outside of the courtship concept (e.g. through the family and supervised by the church) does not indicate any sinful transgression, for there is no commandment regarding it. We simply know how we should act in a relationship, not how we ought to pursue that relationship in a romantic fashion (see 1 Corinthians 7 on marriage and sexually charged relationships).
All that said, do I think the modern dating scene is proper? As a single male, I have no vested interest in saying that it is. (It obviously isn't working out for me.) On the other hand, I have no real interest in saying that it isn't--as a male, single or otherwise, the sexual norms of modern dating attract me. I think my view of dating is best summarized by a comment on the original post:
I recommend that we return to the courtship regime that reigned during the Victorian era in America, and put women back in charge of asking men out. (For those unfamiliar with the history I recommend Beth Bailey's wonderful book From Front Porch to Back Seat.)
It was merely through the blind force of economics that young men moved into control of courtship in the first place: once entertainment moved out of the home and into public spaces like concert halls and restaurants, money was suddenly necessary to courtship, and men, as the partner with income, found themselves in a position from which to issue the invitation. Some writers at the time noted that the new regime of "dating" resembled prostitution, since only young men with money could now afford the company of young women; and, of course, it put the young woman in the vulnerable position of feeling at the end of the night that she now owed the young man something — he had, after all, just spent money on her.
I beg of you all to remember that the sex which we designate as the active agent, who gets to issue the invitation for a date, is put in a position of immense power — for each member of the passive sex must then become, in essence, billboard, an advertisement, an attempt to draw the attention of one of the askers. Please take a moment to glance at what a typical forteen-year-old girl wears — and what she reveals — today, and you will see what happens when the standards of young men are allowed for decades to pressure the standards of young women and what they must do to earn attention.
We should end this madness! Put the young woman back in charge, and make the young man jump through her hoops, earn her attention, just as his great-great-great grandfather did in the nineteenth century. Little girls being of fallen nature too, of course, the result will not be perfect; but by letting the naturally far more predatory young male take charge of courtship, we have put the fox in charge of the henhouse.
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